One Thousand Stars and You Read online

  ‘Kind sir,’ she said coyly.

  Max smiled. ‘My lady.’

  The others had now joined them, and they made their way as a group through the gardens, stopping to take photos of a huge circular pond covered in lily pads and delicate white flowers, cone-shaped evergreens moated by beds of fiery-red cypress vines, and hundreds of roses in a rainbow of shades. Max knew the names of many of the plants purely on sight, explaining that he’d developed a fleeting interest in botany when he’d been at Headley Court.

  ‘It’s part of the treatment, in a way,’ he told them, as they paused to admire a long lane which was overhung on both sides by vast palm trees. ‘It made sense for us lads to nurture something through from seed to sapling; it reminded us that life goes on, and that things take time. In the army, it’s all so go, go, go, that when you get the rug pulled out, so to speak, it can be tough to readjust.’

  ‘Couldn’t have put it better myself, mate,’ Jamal said, before telling the girls, ‘The garden at Headley was extended the year Max and I were there – the whole centre was. There were so many blast injuries happening then, and me and Max here, we were both the new guys at the same time.’

  ‘Is that what you bonded over?’ Steph guessed, resting her head affectionately against Jamal’s shoulder as they gazed up at the majestic trees.

  ‘Well, yeah – that and the fact that he was drawn to my amazing good looks and sense of humour.’

  Max laughed. ‘Steady on, mate.’

  ‘I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again,’ Jamal replied. ‘I just don’t see you in that way, Max. You’re in the friend zone.’

  Max shrugged exaggeratedly. ‘A man can dream.’

  ‘I’m always having to put guys in the friend zone,’ muttered Maureen. ‘I go on a lot of first dates,’ she explained to the boys.

  ‘Why only first?’ Max was intrigued, and Alice braced herself for the inevitable overshare.

  ‘I’m fussy,’ Maureen told him. ‘I’m looking for someone exciting, and all I ever seem to find are bores.’

  ‘Poor guys.’ Jamal laughed at Maureen’s expression of mock outrage. ‘I mean, speaking as a man, you can’t win sometimes. Girls say they want a nice guy, but if you treat them nicely then you get friend-zoned. If you go the other way, and treat them mean, they can’t get enough of you.’

  ‘That’s so not true!’ declared Steph. ‘I like nice guys.’

  Jamal turned and kissed the end of her nose.

  ‘You, Miss Winters, are a rare treat.’

  ‘What about you, Max?’ Maureen asked as they continued to walk. ‘Do you prefer the nice, boring girls, or the naughty ones like me?’

  Max considered this. ‘A mixture of the two,’ he said diplomatically. ‘But I would argue that nice doesn’t necessarily mean dull. Surely you can be fun and nice?’

  ‘I would happily be whatever you wanted me to be,’ Maureen told him boldly, and Alice turned as red as the flowers on a nearby Pride of Burma tree.

  There was a beat of awkward silence, which Jamal then broke by bellowing with amused laughter, telling Maureen to ‘stop making a move on my boyfriend – you know he only has eyes for me’. Alice did her best to laugh along with them, but her effort was half-hearted, and she looked around to find Steph staring at her in much the same way as she had halfway up Sigiriya.

  ‘I’ve just remembered I brought a Frisbee with me,’ Max said then, neatly changing the subject. He started to take off his backpack. ‘Who’s up for a game?’

  They all chorused an enthusiastic ‘me’, and Alice dropped her own bag on the grass and took off across the wide lawn. Max’s suggestion could not have come at a better moment – ever since their conversation outside the greenhouse, Alice had felt the familiar froth of anxiety starting to bubble, and it was a relief to run and jump it away. Despite the heat, she played with more gusto than she ever had before, and was still up on her feet long after the other two girls were lying on their backs, pink with exhaustion.

  ‘You’re a demon!’ Max told her, almost toppling right over as he tried and failed to reach one of her angled throws of the Frisbee. ‘You do know I only have one leg, right?’

  ‘Excuses, excuses,’ she said blithely, gesturing in the air. ‘You’re only playing that card because you’re being beaten by a woman.’

  Jamal cheered just as Max’s mouth opened in flabbergasted amusement, and Alice lifted each arm in turn and kissed her biceps for good measure.

  The sun was starting to sink when they finally reached the exit of the Botanical Gardens, all five of them sweaty, sunburned and parched from the game. Spotting an ice-cream shop on the opposite side of the road, Maureen headed across with Max and Jamal, leaving Alice alone with Steph.

  ‘Don’t fancy one?’ Steph asked, nodding after the others.

  ‘Not sure if I trust what they wash the scoops in,’ Alice explained. ‘Rich told me some horror story about a woman who ended up lactose intolerant after being exposed to contaminated water.’

  Steph chuckled good-naturedly. ‘That sounds like him.’

  ‘He just worries,’ Alice said automatically. ‘Did I tell you that he’s fitted a child lock on the medicine cabinet?’

  ‘No!’ Steph exclaimed. ‘Who does he think he’s protecting?’

  ‘I have no idea,’ Alice laughed. ‘You know me – I just keep my mouth shut and let him get on with it.’

  ‘I do know you,’ Steph agreed, but the humour had slipped from her tone. She was looking at Alice thoughtfully now, as if debating whether or not to elaborate.

  ‘How are things with you and Rich?’ she asked, her attempt at nonchalance failing.

  ‘Fine.’ Alice heard his words again in her mind – ‘set the date’ – and nodded firmly. ‘Totally fine.’

  ‘There’s nothing you want to tell me?’ Steph pressed, and Alice looked at her, feigning confusion.

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘You two have been together for so long,’ Steph began. ‘It makes sense that the idea of someone new is exciting.’

  Alice pictured Richard, with his collection of fishing rods and his glasses case labelled with his name, and suddenly felt like crying. She wanted to tell Steph not to be so stupid, but the lie felt like too much effort. She was beginning to learn that honesty, no matter how uncomfortable, was sometimes just easier.

  ‘I’m being an idiot,’ she said finally, her voice small. ‘I think this is all just a reaction to Rich saying that we should set the date – for the wedding.’

  ‘He said that?’ Steph looked thrilled, but Alice could only nod.

  ‘About time, too,’ Steph added, grasping Alice’s hand. ‘That’s amazing news, isn’t it?’

  Alice attempted a smile that turned into a grimace. ‘I don’t know. I mean, it should be.’

  The others were making their way back across the road now. Alice could see Max’s bright-blue ice cream through the throng of tuk-tuks.

  ‘Just promise me one thing,’ Steph said, her voice dropping an octave.

  Alice turned to her. ‘Go on.’

  ‘Don’t do anything that you might regret – something that you can’t take back.’

  Her meaning was clear, and as much as Alice knew she should be offended by the assumption, she had to admit Steph was right to make it. She had been straying back to her old self more and more with each passing day, her hot-headed need to push the boundaries now in danger of overruling her sensible side.

  She knew what Max would say – he would tell her to go with it, to embrace it, to be herself and screw the consequences. She could so easily do that, Alice thought, but what would happen to her relationship with Richard if she did?

  20

  If the city of Kandy was an urban assault course, then its central lake was the prize at its end, and Alice felt soothed almost immediately by the sight of the gently rippling water. She, Steph and Maureen had seen the lake from a distance when they visited the Temple of the Tooth the previous evening, but they had
not had time to stroll around its shores.

  Stalls lined the road that hugged the water’s edge, selling everything from ice cream to coconuts to fizzy drinks, water, nuts, popcorn and gifts, and Sri Lankans stepped regularly into their path, offering tickets to a dancing show, a tour of Kandy, or leaflets advertising a nearby bar. There were more local people sitting on stone benches, the men in their white shirts and dark trousers, and the women in their beautiful dresses, all quietly enjoying the view as the dipping sun cast an apricot glow across the buildings and treetops.

  Shadows stretched and traffic rumbled, a man in tatty sandals led a pony down to one of the grassy banks to graze, and Alice let the others wander ahead as she stopped to take it all in. There might be confusion in her heart, but this was still an adventure, and Sri Lanka, with its beauty and its mystery, was keeping her spirits lifted. She couldn’t help but be amused by the rowdy crows that were stripping twigs from the trees and dropping them in her path; nor could she fail to smile at the little girl who was feeding fish on one of the banks, her hand going again and again into her plastic bag of pellets, while an elderly woman stood next to her and pointed at the gaping mouths that kept breaking the surface below.

  There were no monkeys here, either, but Alice started when she sensed movement below her and turned just in time to see an enormous water monitor lizard stalk past. It must have been at least two metres in length, with intricately patterned skin and small, hard eyes. Everywhere she looked, there seemed to be life, and as well as the lizard she could see Muscovy ducks, willowy white herons, tufty cormorants and even a lone pelican.

  She caught up with the others at the northernmost tip of the lake, exclaiming over a red post box that was situated not far from the water’s edge. It looked exactly the same as those back in England. Max was in the middle of telling Maureen how the post boxes in China were green, which prompted Jamal to start reeling off a list of countries, just to test his friend.

  ‘What about India?’

  ‘Red, I’m guessing,’ Max chewed his lip thoughtfully. ‘Same as here.’

  ‘And Australia?’ Maureen wanted to know.

  ‘Red again,’ he replied.

  ‘Have you been down under, then?’ Steph asked, and Jamal started laughing.

  ‘Probably not for a while, eh, mate?’

  Max blushed slightly at that, and Steph gave Jamal a playfully stern look.

  ‘I went years ago, with my family,’ he said, wisely choosing not to rise to Jamal’s crass bait. ‘But I want to go back.’

  ‘It’s right at the top of my bucket list,’ Alice agreed. ‘Australia and New Zealand.’

  Steph looked at her in surprise.

  ‘Since when?’

  ‘Since forever. Rich was really keen on the idea until he did some research and realised just how many things can kill you over there. He’s convinced that if we went, we’d end up with skin cancer, or eaten by a crocodile.’

  ‘Your boyfriend is hilarious,’ Maureen put in, turning to the others. ‘Rich would literally keep Alice on child’s reins if he could get away with it.’

  Alice said nothing, but she felt Max’s eyes seeking hers out.

  They completed the circuit of the lake just as the sun was getting ready to turn in for the night, and found two tuk-tuks to drive them up the hill to the Slightly Chilled bar, which offered a stunning view of the city from its balcony and a mixture of Sri Lankan, Chinese and British cuisine.

  ‘Will you all judge me if I order a jacket potato?’ said Maureen, kicking off her flip-flops and resting her bare toes on the bottom rungs of Max’s chair.

  They had found a table right on the edge of the veranda, but it was a snug fit for five, and Alice pulled out her own chair only to accidentally bang it against the knees of another backpacker sitting right behind them.

  ‘Sorry!’ she said, but the blond, Nordic-looking guy barely batted an eyelid. The clientele in Slightly Chilled was an eclectic mixture of Sri Lankans, English, Aussies and more, ranging from eighteen to middle-aged.

  Not long before she left to start university, Alice had planned a fantasy trip through Asia and Australia. It had always been her plan to take a year off after her studies, but Richard had proven to be a big distraction, and he didn’t want to go. He had never told her outright that she should stick a pin in her plans, just as he would never tell her what to do now, either, but his implicit displeasure at the idea was obvious. Alice knew that to go would mean upsetting her mum, who still liked to keep her close, and jeopardise what she had with Richard. She did not want to risk losing him.

  Sitting here now, though, surrounded by travellers, Alice felt a keen envy towards the seasoned backpackers at the other tables, with their six-month tans, beaded chunks of hair and weathered expressions. She didn’t care that they probably hadn’t slept in their own beds for months, or that they were, in all likelihood, wearing their smalls for the fourth consecutive day – what did it matter when they were doing something so real, and so fun? She remembered reading a quote once that had stuck with her: ‘Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.’ If only Richard would agree to taking a year off work to explore the world with her. But he wouldn’t. There was no point even asking.

  Once they had all ordered food and there was a round of Lion Lagers on the table, Alice excused herself and went in search of the bathroom, stepping over two huge bulldogs which had fallen asleep on the stairs. She could tell from her reflection in the cracked mirror above the sink that she’d caught the sun, and her cheeks and forehead had turned pink, despite her careful application of factor thirty every few hours. Clearly, different rules applied here than in Europe, where a single dollop of lotion could see you through half a day at least.

  She washed her face and hands with the rather dubious-looking nub of grey soap she found on the basin, before scraping the hair she’d pulled down back up into a ponytail. There were always bits that fell out and framed her face, and she flicked them away as she pushed open the door and almost collided with Max, who had his good leg extended over one of the dozing dogs.

  ‘Whoa!’ he said, using Alice and the wall to right himself. ‘You almost had me A over T there.’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Alice, aware that she was blushing.

  Max brought his other leg over and stood in front of her, making no move to go around to the gents’.

  ‘You OK?’ he asked. ‘You seem, I don’t know, a bit out of sorts this evening.’

  ‘Just tired from thrashing you at Frisbee,’ she said, and Max smiled, his head dropping slightly to one side.

  ‘So, this bucket list of yours,’ he began. ‘What else is on there?’

  Alice thought for a moment.

  ‘I would love to go on a dive somewhere amazing,’ she told him. ‘Rich and I did a course once on holiday, years ago now, but he hated it, and I haven’t been since. I loved being under the water, though – everything down there is so quiet and calm.’

  ‘You don’t strike me as the quiet and calm type,’ he replied, leaning his shoulder against the wall. He was so close that Alice could smell the remnants of his deodorant mingling with the tang of sweat. It was a pleasant, musky smell, and she felt her senses reel.

  ‘Not deep down, anyway.’

  ‘I have my moments,’ she allowed. ‘But I am quiet and calm most of the time. Keeps me out of trouble.’

  ‘More fool you,’ he said lightly, and Alice cleared her throat.

  ‘I guess you could say that.’

  Very slowly, Max reached across and touched her scar, his expression unreadable as his thumb gently stroked. Alice froze, unsure of how to react.

  ‘You’ve caught the sun today,’ he said at last, his eyes searching hers. ‘Pink as a flamingo.’

  The larger of the two bulldogs chose that moment to wake up from whatever exciting and twitchy dream it had been having, then promptly started chasing its non-existent tail around in a circle. It was the most active behaviour Alice had seen a dog dis
play since she arrived in Sri Lanka, and she laughed as Max dropped his hand from her cheek.

  ‘Do you ever feel like you’re doing that?’ she asked.

  ‘Doing what?’

  ‘Chasing your own tail.’

  I feel like it’s all I do, thought Alice. I go around and around on the same track and never get anywhere.

  Max chuckled. ‘Sometimes, yeah – especially when I’m doing something really boring at work. You?’

  ‘Constantly,’ she admitted, and Max abruptly stopped laughing.

  ‘You need what this fella here needs,’ he said, looking at the dog rather than her. ‘Someone to throw a ball for you.’

  21

  Max

  If I should die,

  And lose that fight,

  Chase out the darkness,

  Seek only the light …

  Max put down his pencil and reached for his cup of black tea.

  His poems were less bleak now than they had been at the start of this trip. Where there had only been blackness before, now he was finding hope, and despite the nagging pain in his stump, he found that his mood was one of contentment. It was as if he knew, without any doubts at all, that everything was going to be all right – even though he had no idea why.

  He had gone to sleep thinking about Alice, smiling to himself as he pictured her chasing after the Frisbee, so animated and full of energy. That side of her jarred with the one she seemed to cling to – the sensible, cautious one – and Max was beginning to realise that Alice was a bit of a lost soul. He wished he could lay out all the pieces of her that he had discovered – that way he might stand a better chance of putting them together and getting the real person, or at least a better understanding of her.

  Max could no longer pretend that he wasn’t drawn to Alice, but it wasn’t just that he was attracted to her, or intrigued, or even perplexed. It was none of those things, but all of them, too.

  The thing he had realised last night, when Alice had accidentally revealed so much of herself to him, was that she felt trapped by the routine of her current life. It was probably a large part of the reason why he was being reeled in – he wanted to help her break free. Max had been there, had spent years trying to be the person he thought he was expected to be, rather than who he truly was. He knew better than anyone how difficult it could be to be happy when a major part of your life felt like a lie.