My Map of You Page 17

  After parking the jeep under the shade of a tree and leaving Phelan tethered to a low branch with a chewy treat and a big bowl of water, Aidan took hold of Holly’s hand and led her down a long and winding set of stone steps to a narrow wooden jetty. He then insisted on paying the seven euros each for both of them before lifting her gently into the boat.

  The group of tourists who’d arrived on the bikes were all quite young and very chatty, and Holly found herself wincing with embarrassment as one of the girls asked their captain a series of ridiculous questions. Her boyfriend seemed to be completely mute by comparison, although Holly did wonder if the extreme sunburn on his face had rendered him unable to open his mouth.

  A slightly older couple sat opposite Holly and Aidan on the thin wooden bench, their fingers entwined and a look of contented bliss on their faces. They caught Holly looking and smiled at her.

  ‘Have you been to the caves before?’ the woman asked them as the boat left the jetty and headed eastward.

  ‘He has, I haven’t,’ Holly told her. She had no idea if that was right or not, but Aidan nodded in agreement.

  ‘Well, you’re in for a treat,’ she went on. ‘Is this your first holiday together, then? You look like a new couple to me, I hope you don’t mind me saying.’

  Aidan laughed behind his hand and Holly felt herself turn red.

  ‘We’re not a couple,’ she said, gritting her teeth into a smile. ‘Just friends.’

  The woman looked momentarily confused and her husband leaned across. ‘Don’t mind her,’ he said. ‘She always has been a hopeless romantic. She sees love in every face, I always say.’

  ‘I think that’s marvellous,’ Aidan announced, giving Holly a tiny dig in the ribs.

  ‘Me too!’ she trilled obediently.

  This seemed to appease the woman, and when Aidan turned his head to look out across the water, she gave Holly a very obvious wink.

  It only took ten minutes to reach the caves, and as soon as they came into view there was a chorus of oohs and aahs from the boat. Similarly to the cove where the shipwreck sat, the rocks here were limestone and so provided a brilliant white surface to reflect the turquoise sea. The water was so clear that you could see just how deep it was, and Holly felt her legs tingle with a mixture of nerves and excitement. The captain steered the little boat through the arches and deeper into the caves, where the turquoise turned to bright, bottle green and the walls were wet with seaweed and condensation.

  Before long, the engine was turned off and the younger holidaymakers were diving into the water, eliciting shrieks as their sun-warmed flesh hit the cold waves.

  ‘Coming in?’

  Holly turned to find Aidan had already taken off his shirt and cargo trousers and was only wearing a pair of rather alarmingly floral shorts. Her face must have registered what her brain was thinking, because he laughed and slapped two hands down to cover them.

  ‘My other pair were in the wash, okay? Now are you coming in or not?’

  Holly nodded and Aidan dived straight over the side, his big body barely leaving a ripple as he cut expertly through the water. Holly unpeeled her white dress and immediately felt self-conscious in just her purple bikini. As she climbed awkwardly down the metal ladder on the side of the boat and into the water, she prayed that Aidan wasn’t staring directly at her bum.

  Swimming had been one thing that Jenny had insisted on Holly learning from a young age, and she said a silent thank you to her mum for that now, because Aidan had already swum back out through the limestone arches and was beckoning for her to follow.

  As she neared, he put a finger to his lips. ‘Don’t say anything, but I think there’s a turtle underneath us,’ he whispered. ‘I don’t want the others to know or they’ll all start screaming their heads off, and I reckon the acoustics in these caves are pretty good.’

  There was a big droplet of water on the end of his nose and his curls were flat against the top of his head. Holly sent up another thanks to herself for not bothering to apply mascara that morning. It was bad enough that her hair must make her look like a drowned rat – or worse.

  ‘Shhhh,’ Aidan whispered. ‘I think he’s coming up. Just there, look.’

  Holly turned to where he was pointing just as a little speckled head poked up through the water. The turtle was a lot bigger than she’d imagined, a good metre or so in length, and it had a beautiful brown, white and yellow shell. After gulping in a good lungful of air, the turtle appeared to look at them for a second, before blinking its large, wise brown eyes and slipping back below the surface.

  ‘Wow,’ Holly breathed, turning back to Aidan. The droplet had gone from his nose and he was beaming at her.

  ‘I’m so glad you got to see one so close,’ he said, his foot colliding with hers as they trod water. ‘And you didn’t even have to go on one of those horrible glass-bottomed boats.’

  ‘Result!’ she agreed, her teeth chattering slightly from the cold.

  ‘Come on,’ Aidan was all at once concerned. ‘Let’s keep moving before you freeze to death.’

  They stayed in the water for another fifteen minutes or so, and when it came to clambering back on the boat, Holly made sure Aidan went before her. Feeling very naughty, she watched as he strode quickly up the ladder and admired the shape of his bottom through his ridiculous trunks. When she joined him a few moments later, he was wrapped in his own towel and holding hers out. If only she’d bothered to go to the gym more before she came out here. There was no way that he wouldn’t have seen her untoned stomach and wobbly thighs, but then it was probably for the best that he didn’t fancy her.

  The caves were stunning and she fully understood why they’d earned themselves a spot on the map, but she hadn’t felt anything coming here. She wasn’t even sure what it was she needed to feel. A closeness, perhaps, or just an inkling that this place had been special to Jenny or to Sandra. She’d felt it a bit at Porto Limnionas and Ocean View, but nowhere else since except the house.

  Aidan was quiet as they drove back towards Lithakia. His earlier playful mood had gone back into hibernation and he seemed lost in his own thoughts. Instead of bothering with small talk, she wound down the window and breathed in the sweet, cloying scent of pine trees and wild lavender. Everything here seemed to smell so much stronger and so much fresher, and she could almost feel her senses opening up to drink it all in.

  It had been a long day and the thoughts swirling around in Holly’s head about her mum, the map, Rupert and even Aidan were beginning to become exhausting. The prospect of going back to sit alone in the house wasn’t something she was particularly relishing, and she’d half-decided to take herself out to dinner somewhere when Aidan piped up.

  ‘There’s a bottle of village wine at mine,’ he said, not taking his eyes off the road. ‘Do you fancy sharing it? I might even stretch to dinner if you ask nicely.’

  For a brief, fleeting second, Holly pictured Rupert, his floppy dark-blond fringe and his big soppy grin.

  ‘That would be lovely,’ she said.

  They pulled up outside their houses and Holly muttered something about getting changed before scuttling off up the path. She wanted to brush her salty hair and clean her teeth at least – and her bikini was still a little bit soggy from her swim in the caves. Heading into the bathroom to find her toothbrush, she noticed the photo of Jenny, Sandra and their mystery men propped up on the basin and snatched it up.

  ‘Any idea who these men might be?’ she asked Aidan ten minutes later. She’d strolled straight in through his open back door to find him in the process of opening the wine, and he paused to look at the photo she was holding up under his nose.

  ‘Nope, sorry.’ He pulled an apologetic face. ‘Do you know when it was taken?’

  ‘In 1984,’ she told him, flipping it over to show him.

  ‘Three years after I was born.’ He pulled out the cork. ‘Way before my time on this island.’

  ‘It looks like this bloke here and Sandra were a cou
ple,’ Holly persisted. ‘Did she ever have a boyfriend or anything when you knew her?’

  Aidan turned his back to fetch some wine glasses from next to the sink. ‘Not that I knew of,’ he said. ‘She sometimes hinted that there was someone a long time ago, but she never told me who he was.’

  ‘I wonder if Kostas might know who they are?’ Holly had managed to convince herself on the short walk over here that if she found out who these men were, then she would be bound to find out what had caused the rift between the sisters. And if not, they would at least have some great stories to share.

  ‘Sorry the place is such a mess,’ Aidan swung an arm round. ‘I’m hardly ever at home to tidy up.’

  Holly put the photo down and glanced around. The layout of Aidan’s house was similar to her own next door, but his kitchen area was on the other side. Someone had added a low wall, which ran along by the stairs, and there were pictures on every available wall space. Getting up from her chair by the open back doors, Holly walked across to the largest painting. It was a landscape, painted with busy strokes. Holly was reminded of Renoir as she ran her eyes across the waves breaking on the shore and the tiny child figures building sandcastles on the beach. Everything had been dappled in beautiful light, and looking at it made Holly feel as though she could hear the sound of the ocean.

  ‘It’s beautiful,’ she told him. ‘I feel almost as if it’s coming alive before my eyes.’

  The signature in the bottom corner read ‘S Flynn’.

  ‘What’s your mother’s name?’ she asked.

  ‘Savannah. Savannah Flynn.’ Aidan had appeared behind her with two glasses of wine.

  ‘Is that your surname too? Flynn?’

  ‘Yep. She didn’t want me to take my dad’s. And you’re Wright, right?’

  Holly nodded. Rupert always joked about her name, calling her his ‘Miss Wright’ and ‘The Wright One’.

  She mustn’t think about Rupert.

  The painting was starting to swim before Holly’s eyes so she turned, bumping straight into Aidan as she did so. A slop of wine left her glass and dribbled down the front of his polo shirt. Unlike Holly, he hadn’t bothered to get changed after they got back.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ She rubbed her hand unthinkingly against the stain and blushed as her fingers encountered solid muscle.

  Aidan stepped back and laughed as he looked down at himself. ‘Not to worry – as you can probably tell, this shirt cost about two euros.’

  Before she had time to catch her breath, he’d whipped it off and flung it over the back of a nearby chair. Holly saw a flash of the soft black chest hair and smattering of freckles that she’d glimpsed in the caves, and then he was gone, bounding up the stairs to get a clean shirt.

  She forced herself to sit back down and ignore the feelings that were pulsing through her body. It was just the sun, she told herself. And the wine on an empty stomach.

  ‘Hungry?’ Aidan had reappeared in a clean grey T-shirt.

  Holly wondered if she’d be able to eat, given that her stomach had ridden all the way down to her feet on waves of guilty lust, but she nodded anyway. They made polite chit-chat as Aidan crashed about in the kitchen, frying onions and tomatoes and boiling water for fresh pasta. Holly asked him more about his mother’s work and he asked her to tell him about her friends in London. When she got to Aliana, he stopped stirring and raised a curious eyebrow.

  ‘I like the sound of this Aliana girl,’ he teased. ‘I think you should bring her over for a visit. She can always stay with me, you know, if there’s no room over at yours.’

  Holly knew he was winding her up, but it didn’t stop her feeling a pang of unwarranted jealousy towards her absent friend. Thank God Aliana hadn’t managed to talk Fiona the Dragon into letting her take time off too.

  By the time dinner was finished, the first bottle of wine was long empty and they took a second out into Aidan’s back garden. The rusted metal chair screeched in protest as he pulled it out over the tiles, causing Phelan to leap sideways in alarm.

  ‘Daft mutt,’ said Aidan, giving the dog an affectionate rub and carefully pulling out his own chair from under the table. The night sky was clear and the stars seemed to be everywhere Holly looked. There weren’t as many as there had been out on the water, but they were still a sight to behold. There was a faint smell of figs and lemons and she could hear the gentle lapping of the sea from below. How would she ever bear to go back to the noise and dirt of London?

  ‘Have you got any music?’

  Aidan went back inside, and a few minutes later the mournful voice of Johnny Cash filtered out to join them.

  ‘I hope this is okay?’ Aidan said, topping up her glass before he sat down. ‘I’ve always loved Johnny.’

  ‘He sounds so haunted,’ Holly mused. ‘Like he’s being tortured or something.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Aidan listened for a few beats. ‘But I think that’s what I like about his music, the rawness of it.’

  He was right, the words of the songs and his voice were raw, and as she listened, Holly felt fat, stupid tears welling up in her eyes.

  ‘She forgave him in the end, you know,’ Aidan said. ‘His wife, June Carter. She forgave all the hurt because he was the love of her life.’

  Holly sniffed.

  ‘It took me a long time to forgive my ex for walking out on me,’ he went on. ‘I listened to a lot of this fella while I was trying to come to terms with it all.’

  ‘I can’t imagine how hard it must have been,’ croaked Holly.

  ‘Losing someone you love is never going to be easy.’ He turned to her. ‘But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?’

  She shook her head. It was becoming very difficult not to cry. Damn the wine.

  ‘But, you know, life goes on.’ He seemed to be trying to persuade her as much as himself. ‘If you hold on to all those feelings of anger and resentment, you’ll never be able to move on with your own life.’

  ‘I should go.’ Holly stood up abruptly, her wine glass wobbling precariously as her legs banged against the table.

  ‘Hey, I didn’t mean to get all maudlin on you.’ Aidan was following her across the garden. ‘Stay and help me finish the wine at least, woman.’

  ‘I can’t, I’m sorry.’ The tears really were falling now, and Holly broke into a jog as she reached the low hedge separating their gardens. As she was about to step over it, Aidan grabbed her wrist.

  ‘Hey, what’s the matter?’ he said, his voice softening as the moonlight illuminated her tears. Without waiting for an answer, he pulled her face against his chest and wrapped his arms around her, his fingers tracing a firm circle in the small of her back. Holly stiffened for a few seconds, then let herself melt against him. How was he to know that he’d hit the nail on the head with all that talk of forgiveness? How was he to know that she had been trying to forgive her own mum for years, but couldn’t ever seem to do it?

  She cried a puddle on to his clean T-shirt, finally giving in to the emotions she’d been keeping a tight lid on since she’d arrived. She cried for her mum, for the aunt she’d never meet and for herself, and the mess she was making of everything. Eventually, the sobs subsided. Aidan had moved his hand up and was running it through her hair, all the while whispering that everything would be all right. She closed her eyes briefly and lifted her face up towards his, opening them again to find him staring down at her. For a moment they just looked at each other, then, very slowly, Aidan bent his head down towards her, and when their lips met Holly felt it everywhere. Even the very tips of her fingers tingled. She resisted for a split second, and then parted her own lips to let his tongue slide between them, bringing her own across to meet it. It was tentative and quiet, the only sound the frantic crashing of her heart – then suddenly it was urgent. Aidan scrunched his hand into her hair and kissed her harder, pressing his body against her. Holly heard herself groan and arched her back. She could feel how much he wanted her, and she wanted him. Wanted him like she’d never wanted a
nyone before.

  But when his hand came up to burrow under her vest, Holly knew she had to stop. Closing her mouth and slipping her face away from his, she took a step backwards and slowly but firmly pushed his hands away.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ He was almost panting as he stood there, the light from his open back door turning his face darker in the fading light.

  ‘I’ve got a boyfriend,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just …’

  They stared at each other, both full of a separate regret. Aidan looked genuinely shocked and Holly felt in that moment that things would probably never be the same between them again.

  She wanted so much to explain why she hadn’t told him, but she didn’t have any words. Aidan, too, seemed bewildered into silence, and he simply stood and watched as she stepped slowly over the hedge and returned to the house, closing the doors quietly behind her.

  18

  When Holly finally forced herself to crawl out of bed the next morning, Aidan’s jeep was nowhere to be seen. After wrestling with her old friend the Insomnia Troll until 5 a.m., she’d given up on sleep, switched the lamp on and spent hours just staring at the photo of her mum, aunt and their mystery Greek friends. Her eyes felt dry and her skin was sore from yesterday’s afternoon out in the sun. Every time she thought about kissing Aidan, she felt sick.

  Guilt hadn’t allowed her to contact Rupert yet, but that didn’t stop him from calling her at 9 a.m. to see how she was. By some miracle, Holly managed to assure him that all was well. As he chatted away about work and what he’d been up to in London, Holly could only think about how much her life had changed. How could he not tell that she was a totally different person?

  The sky was thick with clouds and when she popped down to the shop to get some fresh bread, Kostas informed her cheerily that they might even get a spot of rain. ‘It is not a good day for swimming,’ he laughed. That suited Holly just fine, because she had vowed to spend the entire day packing up the rest of the house. She needed to keep her mind distracted somehow.