One Thousand Stars and You Read online

  Alice was still holding his hand, and when Max looked down he saw that her cheeks were wet.

  ‘Hey,’ he murmured consolingly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘Nothing.’ Alice shook her head, only to screw her face up as more tears followed.

  ‘It’s a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?’ he said gently. ‘All this. The sunrise, the temple, all these monks.’

  Alice pulled her mouth into a smile, and rubbed at her eyes.

  ‘It’s just so beautiful,’ she said, again shaking her head as if she could not quite believe what she was seeing. ‘It makes a mockery of all the other stuff, all the shit, all the nonsense.’

  She had to pause then to allow a small sob to escape, and Max tightened his grip on her.

  ‘This is one of those moments,’ he told her. ‘You don’t get many of them in a lifetime, but you know when you do. It will never leave you, this feeling, the one you’re experiencing right now.’

  Alice made a small snuffling noise.

  ‘Just enjoy it,’ he urged. ‘Take it all in, bank it. Be comforted by it.’

  ‘You really are a poet,’ she muttered, squeezing his hand. ‘And in no way corny at all.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he said, but it was almost more of a sigh. Shifting a fraction closer to her, he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

  The sun was almost full now, and the temperature was rising with every breath that Max felt Alice take. Everyone around them was busily taking photos, but the two of them had yet to move. Max did not want to break the spell that they were in, and he did not want to let go of Alice either. He could feel that her sobs had stopped, but she seemed content to still be wrapped up against him.

  ‘We should get moving,’ he heard her say, and Max lowered his ear towards her mouth just as she turned her head. Before he could register what was happening, their lips had brushed softly together, his top against her bottom.

  Alice pulled away, her eyes dropping to the dusty ground just as Max mumbled out a ‘sorry’. All he could think was that he wasn’t sorry – not in the slightest. The encounter had been so brief, over in less time than it took to blink, but he had felt it everywhere – he could still feel it now, in the raised hairs on the back of his neck and the juddering percussion of his heart.

  He watched as Alice stretched out her arms, closing her eyes as sunlight bathed her face.

  ‘Ready to go?’ she asked, turning to look at him.

  ‘No,’ Max replied honestly, thinking about how many steps awaited them. ‘But what goes up and all that …’

  She smiled at that, in what looked like relief, and Max gritted his teeth as he took his first step downwards. The pain ricocheted through his stump, more insistent than ever, but it was no longer the only thing giving Max pause for thought. Because as sure as he could feel the sun warming his cheeks, hear the flapping of the flags in the wind and smell the sweet aroma of chai spices in the air, Max knew the bright spark of affection that had been ignited inside him the day he met Alice had just burst into flames – and he had no idea how he was going to put them out.

  27

  Alice could not remember ever feeling so worn out. The muscles in her thighs were tremoring with fatigue and her ankle and knee joints felt stiff and brittle, as if they could snap with ease. The climb up Adam’s Peak had been arduous but fulfilling, while going back down simply felt endless. Even the monkeys, which she had finally spotted peering down at them through the branches of the surrounding trees, did little to perk her up. But Alice knew that it was not only her frazzled body causing her to feel on edge; it was everything spinning around in her head as well.

  Max was finding the descent difficult, too. He had not uttered a word of complaint, but she had noticed him wincing as he tackled the steepest steps just below the summit. Moving across to offer him her hand, Alice had been surprised when he shook his head wordlessly to refuse her help. It was ridiculous of her to feel so stung, but that’s what his rebuttal had felt like – the sting of a whip, lashing across her throat and causing it to thicken with hurt. After that she had maintained a small distance, hurrying down the steps until she was twenty or so paces ahead of him.

  Had she imagined that moment up on the summit? Did she conjure up the feeling of Max’s lips brushing against her own, and the look in his eyes when he’d held her in his arms? She knew she had not, but now everything between them felt so entirely different, and Alice could not understand what it was she had done wrong.

  ‘Wait up!’

  She turned to find Steph, pink in the face and panting as she jogged down the steps towards her.

  ‘Sorry.’ Alice waited for her to catch up. ‘I was in the zone, there.’

  ‘Not like you,’ Steph joked, smiling despite her heaving chest. Then, ‘Do you have anything to tell me?’

  Alice frowned.

  ‘Um …’

  Steph folded her arms across her chest.

  ‘A secret that you’ve been keeping?’

  Had she seen Max hug her at the top of the Peak? Could she see inside Alice’s head?

  ‘No,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Oh, I dunno, like the secret of what amazing present you’ve bought me!’

  Alice laughed in relief, picturing the tickets to the West End show Steph had wanted to see for months, which were tucked into a side pocket of her backpack back at the guest house.

  ‘Oh, that. Well, I thought the birthday bumps for starters,’ she said. ‘Unless you’d rather get those from Jamal …’

  ‘Well, I wouldn’t say no,’ Steph replied, a coy look on her face. ‘And this is already turning into a birthday I will never forget.’ She gestured around them. ‘I mean, what a place to turn thirty.’

  ‘One of Maur’s better ideas,’ agreed Alice. ‘I feel so bad for her that she’s missing this.’

  But thankful, too, she acknowledged guiltily.

  ‘I thought it would feel weird, you know, reaching the big three-O,’ Steph admitted, following Alice as she started down the next flight of wide steps. ‘I thought I would be sad, that it would remind me of the fact that I’m single and childless. But actually, I feel quite happy. Relieved, even.’

  ‘You’re not strictly single any more,’ Alice pointed out slyly, and Steph blushed even pinker.

  ‘Nothing is official,’ she said.

  ‘The way Jamal looks at you is official,’ Alice assured her. ‘The boy has got it bad.’

  ‘Do you really think so?’ Steph sounded genuinely hopeful – so much so, that Alice had to laugh.

  ‘You know he has,’ she told her. ‘Sometimes these things are as clear as cling film.’

  Steph didn’t say anything to that, and for the next few minutes they continued to descend in companionable silence. Alice’s thoughts strayed yet again to Max, and she sneaked a look backwards over her shoulder to make sure he was still behind them, letting out a breath that she had not been aware she was holding in as he came into view. She had been worried that his injury could cause him to stop altogether, but he still looked as determined as he had on the way up.

  She only realised she had stopped walking when Steph tapped her gently on the arm.

  ‘Clear as cling film, was it?’ she teased, following Alice’s gaze, but there was an undeniable hint of warning in her tone.

  They reached the ramshackle hotel just before ten a.m. and found Maureen waiting for them on the wide terrace, a pot of coffee on the table and Max’s crutches propped up against a chair. When the food arrived, they all fell on it gratefully, and Alice was so thirsty that she even necked the papaya juice without complaint. They filled Maureen in on the events of the night, both girls being careful to play down just how incredible it had been to watch the sunrise. They didn’t want their friend to feel even more hard done by than she already did. Maureen, however, seemed to be back to her carefree and buoyant self, and was soon insisting that Steph have a birthday beer with her
breakfast.

  Max seemed in better spirits, too, Alice had noted with relief as she returned the smile he offered her when they first sat down. Whatever had happened to sour his mood up on Adam’s Peak, it seemed to have been forgotten now, and again Alice was left wondering if she was inventing things. She must stop being so oversensitive.

  Max and Jamal had just headed off to get showered when her phone lit up with a call.

  ‘Dickie!’ cried Maureen delightedly, but this time Alice had her hand firmly over the handset.

  ‘Hi,’ she trilled, her voice uncharacteristically high-pitched. ‘You’re calling early.’

  ‘Couldn’t sleep,’ Rich muttered. A disgruntled sigh came down the phone. ‘How are things?’

  ‘Yeah, great!’ Alice garbled exuberantly, then paused to clear her throat. ‘I just got back from climbing a mountain, actually.’

  ‘Mountain climbing?’ Richard was aghast.

  ‘No, no – not that kind. I mean it was more of a hill, really. A peak. It was perfectly safe.’

  ‘Says the girl that fell off a roof,’ he joked stiffly, and Alice chuckled far too hard in response. Usually she could tolerate his overprotectiveness, but today it rankled. Why must he always assume the worst when it came to her? She turned around and caught Maureen’s enquiring eye, shaking her head slightly to communicate that now was not the time for jokes. She could tell that her boyfriend had something on his mind, and she braced herself.

  ‘So,’ he began, his tone studiedly casual. ‘Have you three met anyone over there?’

  Alice shook her head redundantly. ‘Not really.’

  ‘Who are those two guys on Maureen’s Instagram then?’ he went on, and Alice cringed into the phone.

  ‘Oh, you mean Jamal and Max. They stayed at the same place as us in Habarana, and so we all went to Sigiriya Rock together, and Jamal fancies Steph, so, you know …’

  ‘Jamal is the black guy?’ Richard guessed, and Alice confirmed that he was. ‘So, I’m guessing that if he’s after Steph, Maureen’s after the other one?’

  ‘You know my friends too well,’ she said, a mixture of guilt and relief flooding through her when she realised he did not suspect her of liking either of the two men. Steph and Maureen were both watching her now, their eyebrows hitched in interest at the mention of their names.

  ‘Can’t be much fun,’ Rich went on. ‘Playing gooseberry. I thought this was a girls’ trip?’

  ‘It is!’ Alice assured him. ‘It’s not like we’re in each other’s pockets all the time.’

  ‘Certainly seems that way,’ Rich said. Even though he was arguing with her, the pitch of his voice hadn’t changed. He was using his history teacher voice on her, and yet again she felt irritation begin to prickle.

  ‘How is everything there?’ she asked, choosing to ignore his last comment, and his frosty mood thawed a fraction as he told her about a perch he’d pulled out of the River Stour the previous day.

  ‘Have you heard from your brother?’ he asked after a while, and Alice conceded that she had not, remembering as she did so that Freddie had never replied to her message. It had been two days now.

  ‘We were supposed to meet up this weekend,’ Richard was telling her. ‘It was only a loose arrangement, but he might have texted me to let me know he’d changed his mind. I waited around at the flat all morning.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Alice said automatically. ‘You poor thing.’

  It wasn’t fair, but suddenly Richard’s story about the fish and his grumpiness towards her brother and his predictable passive-aggressive line of questioning about Max and Jamal felt ridiculous. He was so predictable – she had always known that. It used to comfort her, but today she just felt weary of it. And of him, if she was brutally honest. It felt horribly disloyal to compare Richard to Max, but Alice couldn’t help it. The two men could not have been more different. And now Rich was chuntering on about Freddie and time-wasting and rudeness, and she simply could not be bothered to listen to it.

  ‘Rich,’ she said, her tone just as stern as his had been a few minutes ago. ‘I have to go. We have to catch a train soon.’

  ‘It never seems to be a good time,’ he complained, and Alice gritted her teeth.

  ‘I’m sorry about my brother, but it’s really nothing to do with me. Just call him yourself and sort it out.’

  There was a silence as Richard digested her words, as well he might struggle to, given the fact that she rarely, if ever, told him off. Alice didn’t know if it was her exhaustion from the climb or the fact that Richard had pulled at the Max thread, but whatever it was, she was fed up.

  ‘You obviously don’t want to talk,’ Rich stated, and Alice could picture the hurt look on his face.

  ‘Rich, sorry. I’m just—’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he said flatly. ‘Get back to your friends.’

  He had put so much sarcastic emphasis on the last word that he could only have been referring to Max and Jamal, but before Alice could come up with a suitable response, Rich had gone.

  28

  Less than a full day had passed since the five of them had been on the train, but Alice felt as if it had been weeks. Max had been spot on that morning, when he had told her that she was experiencing a moment that was special, unforgettable, even magical – and now she was sitting in one of the train’s open doorways, staring far into the distance at the very same peak she had stood on just hours before. Speeding away from it like this made it seem as if the moment had been fleeting – a mere page in her story. But to Alice it had felt like much more than that. Being up there, so separated from the rest of the world and everyone in it, had reminded her of just how much beauty there was in the world, and how much she desperately wanted to see more of it.

  They had departed from Hatton on a packed train at around lunchtime, passing through Nuwara Eliya station an hour or so later, where enough people had disembarked to free up some seats inside the carriage. Exhausted from the climb and their lack of sleep, Jamal and Steph had soon nodded off with their arms draped across one other, while Max shuffled down and rested his head against the window and Maureen disappeared behind the hardback shell of the latest Marian Keyes novel. As the Sri Lankan eagle flew, it was only fifty-four kilometres to Ella, where they would stay for the night, but the train would take at least a further three hours to get there because of all the mountain ranges it had to pass through on the way.

  Alice had struggled to settle on her plastic seat, fidgeting in a hopeless effort to get comfortable and chewing at her already bitten-down fingernails. That morning’s disastrous phone call with Rich was preying on her mind, along with a host of other things she dared not analyse, and after a while she had come out to sit in the doorway, her plan being that the view and the breeze would chase her discombobulation away.

  She lifted her camera and snapped a few frames of the peak, zooming in but finding it impossible to focus as the train swayed and clattered beneath her.

  ‘Room for a little one?’

  Alice turned to find Max standing over her, his expression unreadable and his hair standing up on one side where his head had been resting against the train window. She shifted wordlessly to one side, and waited as he slowly lowered himself, before bending over to prop his prosthetic foot on one of the wooden steps leading out of the carriage.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ Alice asked, recalling how he had winced as they made their way back down Adam’s Peak.

  ‘Like I haven’t slept for about three days,’ Max said, yawning widely but turning it into a smile. ‘But it was totally worth it.’

  ‘I can’t believe I cried,’ Alice said now, turning red. ‘I’m blaming my impending old age.’

  ‘Hey!’ Max nudged her with an elbow. ‘Less of the old. I’ve got over three years on you, remember?’

  ‘You don’t look a day over fifty-eight,’ she retorted, and he laughed.

  ‘So,’ he began, pausing to wave at two young children as the train trundled past a tiny vil
lage. ‘It’s your birthday in two days’ time – what do you want?’

  Alice inclined her head, puzzled by the question.

  ‘Come on – we can’t let you turn thirty and not mark it somehow. How about a coconut carved to look like a monkey? Or a year’s supply of papayas?’

  ‘Both sound incredible,’ she said, unable not to grin at him. She was glad they were back to taking the mickey out of one another again.

  ‘But what is it that you really want?’ he asked, and this time Alice found that she could detect no humour in his expression. His eyes beneath his light-brown fringe were tinged pink with fatigue, but they were serious.

  ‘I have no idea,’ she said quietly, unnerved slightly by the sudden intensity in his eyes, and the possible weight of his question. ‘I don’t know what I want any more.’

  ‘I gave my ex, Faye, a ring on her birthday,’ he said, raising his voice so she could hear him over the sound of the train.

  Alice felt something twist inside her guts.

  ‘I was young and infatuated,’ he told her with a sad sort of smile. ‘Twenty-two, for God’s sake. I had no business getting married to anyone at that age.’

  ‘What made you do it?’ Alice asked.

  ‘I thought I was in love, is the simple answer,’ he replied, chewing thoughtfully on his thumbnail. ‘I was going away with the army, and I thought I was being romantic.’

  ‘I’m sure you were,’ Alice assured him, but Max pulled a face.

  ‘I was a wet-behind-the-ears boy, then,’ he insisted. ‘Faye and I had been together since school, I didn’t know any different.’

  ‘At least you weren’t afraid to try,’ Alice said, leaning back quickly to avoid being whipped in the face by a thicket of bushes beside the track. They could no longer see Adam’s Peak in the distance, and were instead skimming past dense forests. She took a deep breath and detected the fresh scent of eucalyptus underneath the more overpowering pine.